Wedding Finance

Tia Ewing was wrong to ask guests to leave if they came without a gift

Tia Ewing was joking — sort of — when she told her baby shower that if her guests didn’t bring gifts, they should just go.

In an Instagram video, which has solicited more than 1,500 comments, Ewing’s husband, Early Walker, thanks guests for attending the shower.

“First and foremost, thank you all for coming, thank you all,” Walker said. “I absolutely have to shout out to everyone who played a part in this.”

Then Ewing, a reporter and presenter for Fox 32 News in Chicago, grabs the microphone.

“Not everyone,” Ewing says. “Because some people came and didn’t even bring a gift. Let me tell you something, this kind of gives me wedding vibes. At my wedding, many people came, but they didn’t bring a gift. So if you came to the baby shower and didn’t bring a gift, you can leave.

#guestsdontpay comes as guests are charged to attend celebrations

The guests laughed. A friend standing next to the couple says Ewing didn’t mean what she said. “I meant exactly what I said,” Ewing reiterates. “So if you haven’t brought a present, you can get up and leave. I said what I said.

Walker sheepishly says, “Okay,” and hands the mic back to the shower DJ, who then says, “Yeah, man, you all heard what she said. You must get up and head for the nearest exit.

The video, also posted on the couple’s YouTube channel, invites people to speak up: “I asked my baby shower guests to leave if they didn’t buy a present. Was I wrong?”

Comments on the video are split between those who side with the mother-to-be and those who criticize her for being rude.

“You should only invite people you know would buy a gift,” one Instagram user wrote. Another wrote: “No she’s not wrong, too many people take advantage of these kinds of events” and “eat everything”.

On YouTube, one commenter wrote, “Even if I brought a present, I would still get up and leave. You don’t know people’s financial situation. But even if I don’t, she should have mention on invitations. It was rude and tacky.

Ewing, who is due in October, said she wasn’t serious. She said one person left and quickly returned, playing up the satirical moment.

“I’m a bit of a prankster,” Ewing said in an interview. “In my mind, it was partly a joke.”

“Most of the room, they know me,” she said. “They know my personality. So for them, it wasn’t offensive because that’s kind of my personality. No one was offended because no one showed up without a gift, as far as I know.

Miss Manners: I think my brother’s baby registry is outrageous

Ewing is serious about it. She’s adamant that if you’re attending someone’s birthday, wedding, or baby shower, you have to bring something.

“It was kinda funny, kinda real,” Ewing said. “At my wedding, I noticed that a lot of people had come and they hadn’t brought a gift. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve never gone to someone’s wedding without taking a present. I expect that if you come to an event, you bring at least one card.

Ewing didn’t expect so many people to believe that she would actually ask the ungifted guests to leave. But if there’s any truth to the humor, the video illustrates an ugly trend of wishlists, gift registries and GoFundMe campaigns for people who don’t need them, according to Judith Martin, who writes the advice column on the syndicated “Miss Manners” label.

Engaged couples have created websites asking friends and family to contribute to the costs of every aspect of their wedding, including the honeymoon. People invite you to their celebrations – a birthday or a retirement party – and shamelessly expect you to cover the cost of the venue, the meal, or both. They are specific in requiring a particular gift.

“People who are creditworthy beg,” Martin said in an interview. “Blatant greed is probably the number one issue with the label. Gimme Gimme Gimme. And that’s shocking.

A preacher chastised his flock for not ‘honouring’ them with a luxury watch

A Missouri pastor had to walk back his comments after he berated his congregation for not buying him a Movado watch that can cost anywhere from a few hundred dollars to over $1,000.

“That’s how I always know you poor, broke, busted and disgusted, because of the way you honored me,” the minister told his congregation, according to a video of his message uploaded to TikTok. “I’m not worth your McDonald’s money? I’m not worth your Red Lobster money?”

The pastor later posted a video on Facebook apologizing for his tirade.

To justify their excessive demands, people often claim that the rules of etiquette have changed.

“Of course etiquette changes, as language changes, as law changes, but in measured ways for the good of all,” Martin said. “It’s a horrible development that people try to rip people off to feed their greed.”

So, no, you don’t scold people who show up to your celebration empty-handed. You shouldn’t tell them what specific gifts they should give you. Don’t give guests the account number of the college fund you’ve created or the charity you’d like them to support.

Miss Manners: Baby gender reveal is not a party event

Baby showers used to be small, informal occasions where people gave lovely, fun little things, Martin said. Gifts should be thoughtful “tokens” of affection, Martin said.

If you are attending a baby shower or wedding, yes, you should bring a gift. “But not because it’s the price of admission, not because they serve you champagne and wedding cake, but because you care enough about these people to go to their shower or their wedding,” Martin said.

Invitations have become more like an entry fee to popular events and not just for high-profile occasions. It’s a shocking travesty to use social relations in this way,” Martin said. “It has become a way for others to do your shopping. They destroyed the whole idea of ​​gifts.

Baby showers weren’t enough. Now there are revelations about the genre, with guests wondering if it’s worth gifting. The increasing number of festive events is financially draining for many people, who are often too scared to say so for fear of being accused of not loving someone enough.

“Caring for someone and being thrilled that that person has a baby doesn’t necessarily mean you want to furnish their home and support the child. Hospitality and social relationship count for nothing,” Martin said. “You’re just supposed to come and pay your respects. It’s like paying taxes.